There are two types of Newbies the first is by far the easiest personality to pick out of a crowd. They have parents who are supporting them and they live at home. So they tend to show up wearing new gear. As well there may possibly be a lunch packed by mom. Some people buy new stuff but only the Newbie will show up with new boots, coveralls and usually some other item that is brand new with a Carhart or CAT emblem on it all at the same time looking like an advertisement for some Ford truck commercial.
So called normal people will not show up in all new gear its just for some reason laughed at and expect to get bugged or at least some dirt or mud thrown at you. All in good fun of course but the newbie does not understand this old tradition and will get upset when you kick dust on his new boots. Who cares thou they are the Newbie, hurt feelings forms are always available in every bathroom usually found under the name of " Paki passport photos" or "CLAC tickets"
Then there is the broke Newbie these are sometimes hard to tell apart from the "crackhead" or the "penny pincher" ( both of whom will be explained at a later date.) They have old clothes that have been used by either someone else or for cutting the grass and painting at home. The best way to spot this newbie is by the new boots on their feet. ALL Newbies have new boots.
So how can you tell this one apart from someone who just bought new boots? That's where the other distinguishable characteristics of a Newbie come in. When they first arrive they have a deer in the headlights look and think they just walked into reform school or a prison camp. Scared by all the rumors their drunk uncle who spent two months in a camp back in '84 told them. The stories of drugs addicts and violent offenders that live in camps stick in their mind. Newbies keep their new gear at arms length all the time. Staring at everyone for an abnormally long time while thinking that "The juice monkey" or the "Old dirty Bastard" is seeing them as their bitch for an evening of swapping cigarettes and bootleg liquor enjoyment.
The Newbie will also tend to be noticeably perplexed when they leave the meal line. Yet another place to easily spot the Newbie. Simply standing there with hair nicely combed looking for a table with the fewest people. Careful so not to offend someone and again becoming a bitch. This is a time consuming act and could take some time. The clumsy Newbie may bump into people or the ultimate in lunchtime entertainment drop a plate or cup full of Chocolate milk on the floor. Yes they all drink chocolate milk on the first day simply because its free and may become visibly excited about it. They will sometimes find other Newbies to hang out with on day 2 or 3 and then will remain by each others side constantly learning everything they can from what the others have experienced and heard.
The only thing I can really compare a Newbie to is the nerdy kid a school. They really stand out and heck everyone can't help but pick on them sometimes until they find out where they fit in the scheme of things and develop a camp personality. So next time you see a Newbie kick some dirt on their boots and when they get mad at you just tell them its for their own good and they will understand someday. If your a pipefitter you can also ask them to join your PEN 15 club. If your an Ironworker make sure you take the weee out of their hardhat for them.
Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment