Alberta is an average sized province in western Canada. Its bordered by the mountains of British Columbia and the Prairies of Saskatchewan. There is nothing really exceptional about Alberta other than it is lucky to have a huge deposit of tar sand that helps drive the Canadian Economy as well as our countries greenhouse gas production. This helps the Albertans to receive huge amounts of bank credit in which to live excessively on and flaunt for all visitors to see. There is also the famous Rodeo in Calgary called the "Calgary Stampede". This is a week in the summer when highly overpaid business executives trade in power suits for cowboy hats. They then get drunk for a week at staff parties downtown and prey on wannabe cowgirls with plastic breasts. If this is not Capitalism at its finest I have never seen it.
Upon arriving in Alberta you have no choice but to meet "The Albertan" as it is their home and there is no way to avoid this, sorry. It could be "The Albertans" long roots in cattle ranching that gives them the hospitality of "Get off my land or I will shoot" or it could be that Alberta is pretty much the equivalent of that spoilt kid you went to school with that never learnt to share very well. Sure they will give you some candy if their dad is standing there but its not without a struggle to pry that kids hand open. Alberta has not come into their found wealth very well. It is a regular occurrence to hear "The Albertan" speak about separation from Canada or comments like "I never been to Kbeck but I pretty sure I own some of it from the money I done sent over there." (the grammar in that sentence is correct)
For some reason or other the Albertan takes it upon themselves to let you know that you are on what they feel is their land. It is no longer a part of Canada to them it is strictly called Alberta. Often inviting you to leave at anytime or just simply reminding you that there is still a highway that exits the province as well. Sometimes you feel like they expect a tip like the bellhop who opened to door for you while you carried your own bags up the stairs because the elevator was working. Simply for standing on the oil soaked ground beside them they feel should carry a provincial tax or levy.
Sadly thou the Albertan is held back by a single trait that without the rest of they country would cripple their economy. That dear friend is laziness. If it were a law in "The Albertan" constitution it would read that : When in Alberta and working beside "The Albertan" that person who is not from Alberta shall perform a percentage more of the work than the Albertan based upon province of origin. Saskatchewan and Manitoba are an automatic 60% as they Just want to work and don' t care. British Columbia is a mere %25 in the winter and 50% in the summer as Albertans are scared they will just quit and ride their snowmobiles all winter if asked to work too hard. Quebec is 50% across the board and its a struggle at times to get that much from them. The Atlantic provinces once again get screwed with the furthest travel time and the most work at 75% because Albertans know they have no choice in the matter. The territories are not included in this as they tend to rarely leave home for work in Alberta.
So as closing I must find a comparison for "The Albertan" in our animal kingdom as with the other explanations. "The Albertans" I believe are best compared to the small house dog. It seems to have the life. Usually found Lazing around all day in a comfortable home. When someone comes to the door they make one heck of a fuss and will only settle down when given a treat or a pat on the head. Finally they are not sad to see you go but will watch and make sure you are off the property when you do exit.
No comments:
Post a Comment