Been a while since I have sat down and written a blog I am sorry. There have been some strange days at work lately but I have found some inspiration from them and I hope that I can keep entertaining the people that have enjoyed this blog so far. Thank you for your support.
The "Dogfuker" ( the Yang to "Birddoggers" Ying ) is a combination of different people. There are the "Unskilled Dogfukers", "Part Time Dogfukers","Blatant Dogfukers" and then last but the most extreme of them all is the "Master Dogfukers." Simply put the "Dogfuker" is a person who will do anything other than work during the day to pass time. Sometimes the act of "Dogfuking" is more taxing than the work that they are supposed to be doing. The "Dogfuker" does not see his act as taxing. It is simply an (anything but what I am supposed to be doing) attitude that creates this breed of worker and the culture that has spread to all work sites.
There are many terms used to describe a "Dogfuker." It can be someone who is regularly "pumpin' the pooch", a person who "makes puppies all day" or in most cases just call them a "Pipefitter." Where this terminology came from I am not really sure but I can guarantee it has been around as long as they have rolled steel into tubular sections and attached it together. I do not mean to pick on a specific trade as all trades have various types of "Dogfukers" but it very rampant in the piping industry so it makes them an easy framework for this topic. A wonderful everyday example is if you remember the last time you saw city workers digging a hole for water pipe that is holding up traffic. Those people there are in fact plumbers. Plumbers are basically a pipefitter in training.
Lets start with the "Unskilled Dogfuker". Here we have a worker who's skills are not honed to be a very efficient "Dogfuker" yet. As pointed out we see them easily all over the place such as the plumbers mentioned above. Unsure of what they can get away with yet they are simple prey for the hovering "Birddogger". Their only defense is jumping into their excavation hole or trucks to avoid the "Birddoggers" eye. Getting written up for lack of production and being verbally disciplined are all signs of the "Unskilled Dogfuker". In a way these measures of discipline are training for the "Dogfuker" to hone his skills and become more proficient. Sometimes an "Unskilled Dogfuker" will become mentored by a "Master Dogfuker" being shown the ropes and learning the ins and outs of "puppy pounding." The "Unskilled Dogfuker" will in time move into the role of MASTER and no longer fear the "Birddogger".
Next would be the "Part time Dogfuker". This is the most difficult "Dogfuker" to deal with for the "Birddogger". The "Part time Dogfuker" has developed a sort of spidy sense to detect the "Birdogger" when they are in the area. Upon detection of a "Birddogger" the crafty "Part time Dogfuker" will blend himself into the ongoing work. This amazing skill allows the "Dogfuker" to simply pick up the nearest tool and make a situation look as if there is work being done in the eyes of the "Birddogger". Some of this type are extremely crafty at this and take the time to lay out various tools around their work area so that at no point in time will they have to move more than a few feet to camouflage themselves as "The Worker". The "Part time Dogfuker" does have one weakness, being that he needs to have a worker nearby so that he can blend with optimal ability while still doing no work. This worker does not come cheap thou, often the "Part time Dogfuker" will have to sort of pay "The Worker" for his services. Money is never exchanged for this service but rather false friendship, smokes and possibly other freebies to make the deal fair for "The Worker".
Onto the "Blatant Dogfuker". Here we have a worker who is usually set up financially or has a don't give a fuk attitude. These are the easy prey for the "Birddogger" as well. When detected by a "Birddogger" they will simple stand or sit in the position they are in only to move once the "Birdogger" has already locked onto them and is within striking distance. These are the most common employees to be "Skidded or Turfed" from job sites as they have no skills to defend themselves once engaged by the "Birdogger". Answering the "What are you doing??" question with phrases like "Nothing." or "Talking to you." With their answers enraging the "Birdogger" they often get hauled into the office for written reprimands and dismissals. The "Blatant Dogfuker" is very popular on sites thou as all workers get pleasure out of their reactions and comments to the "Birdogger." Throwing them off for a second by their unexpected reactions to authority is always a pleasure to witness.
Now we have come to the "Master Dogfuker." This is the worker who has developed a skill set that makes him totally undetectable to the "Birddogger". Honing their spidy sense as a "Part time Dogfuker" and now being constructive and creative with their efforts they in the mind of the "Birddogger" do not exist. "Master Dogfukers" have been known to create elaborate lounges within their work area that are out of sight from the "Birddogger." Using tools like Red tape ( where nobody can enter) to guard entrances and emergency exits from their comfy lairs. They create a safe haven for themselves and "The worker" who needs to take a break from their duties. Thus creating a tollerence between "The Worker" and the "Master Dogfuker." The "Master Dogfuker" will very often mentor a "Unskilled Dogfuker" in order to help them create these safe houses and teach them the ways of "Dogfuking." Skills such as early detection and tools to escape "Birddoggers" during conversations. Here is where oddly enough the "Dogfuker" will expend more energy on creating their lair than it would take to be working. The "Master Dogfuker" has been "making puppies" for so long that the work part is not noticed. They will sees it simply as their duty to perform. The only way the "Master Dogfuker" is ever caught is when they are finding materials for their lair. Sometimes they are noticed stealing office chairs and large amounts of Styrofoam for insulation. The "Master Dogfuker" puts himself at risk only in such situations. While becoming sly and clever over the years they also have quick wit to answer any questions the "Birddogger" may ask them such as: "Why do you have a couch in the back of the truck?" A possible answser could be: " I was told to move it. They are giving it away to the salvation army and I have to take it to the shipping dock." Knowing the "Birddogger" is too hungry looking for prey to do a regular task like follow up an awnser, they are free to take the couch into their lair.
In closing, I have to compare each Dogfuker to a specific animal to end this one off as they are all displaying such different characteristics. First the "Unskilled Dogfuker" would be a jackrabbit. Appearing as easy prey they manage to escape the clutches of the "Birddogger" with their speed and nearby burrows. The "Part Time Dogfuker" gets the title of chameleon as they are quick to react and blend into their surroundings becoming invisible to predators. The "Blatant Dogfuker" is the prairie gopher. Easy pickings but kinda fun to have around as long as they are not working in your yard. The "Master Dogfuker" obtains the title of the mighty Canadian beaver. Unknown that they are even there, they work hard to create safe dens to live in and can only be caught when they go for more material.
I hope you enjoyed this one as I had fun writing it and am looking forward to posting many more in the not so far future. Thanks again.
Cheers!
The "Dogfuker" ( the Yang to "Birddoggers" Ying ) is a combination of different people. There are the "Unskilled Dogfukers", "Part Time Dogfukers","Blatant Dogfukers" and then last but the most extreme of them all is the "Master Dogfukers." Simply put the "Dogfuker" is a person who will do anything other than work during the day to pass time. Sometimes the act of "Dogfuking" is more taxing than the work that they are supposed to be doing. The "Dogfuker" does not see his act as taxing. It is simply an (anything but what I am supposed to be doing) attitude that creates this breed of worker and the culture that has spread to all work sites.
There are many terms used to describe a "Dogfuker." It can be someone who is regularly "pumpin' the pooch", a person who "makes puppies all day" or in most cases just call them a "Pipefitter." Where this terminology came from I am not really sure but I can guarantee it has been around as long as they have rolled steel into tubular sections and attached it together. I do not mean to pick on a specific trade as all trades have various types of "Dogfukers" but it very rampant in the piping industry so it makes them an easy framework for this topic. A wonderful everyday example is if you remember the last time you saw city workers digging a hole for water pipe that is holding up traffic. Those people there are in fact plumbers. Plumbers are basically a pipefitter in training.
Lets start with the "Unskilled Dogfuker". Here we have a worker who's skills are not honed to be a very efficient "Dogfuker" yet. As pointed out we see them easily all over the place such as the plumbers mentioned above. Unsure of what they can get away with yet they are simple prey for the hovering "Birddogger". Their only defense is jumping into their excavation hole or trucks to avoid the "Birddoggers" eye. Getting written up for lack of production and being verbally disciplined are all signs of the "Unskilled Dogfuker". In a way these measures of discipline are training for the "Dogfuker" to hone his skills and become more proficient. Sometimes an "Unskilled Dogfuker" will become mentored by a "Master Dogfuker" being shown the ropes and learning the ins and outs of "puppy pounding." The "Unskilled Dogfuker" will in time move into the role of MASTER and no longer fear the "Birddogger".
Next would be the "Part time Dogfuker". This is the most difficult "Dogfuker" to deal with for the "Birddogger". The "Part time Dogfuker" has developed a sort of spidy sense to detect the "Birdogger" when they are in the area. Upon detection of a "Birddogger" the crafty "Part time Dogfuker" will blend himself into the ongoing work. This amazing skill allows the "Dogfuker" to simply pick up the nearest tool and make a situation look as if there is work being done in the eyes of the "Birddogger". Some of this type are extremely crafty at this and take the time to lay out various tools around their work area so that at no point in time will they have to move more than a few feet to camouflage themselves as "The Worker". The "Part time Dogfuker" does have one weakness, being that he needs to have a worker nearby so that he can blend with optimal ability while still doing no work. This worker does not come cheap thou, often the "Part time Dogfuker" will have to sort of pay "The Worker" for his services. Money is never exchanged for this service but rather false friendship, smokes and possibly other freebies to make the deal fair for "The Worker".
Onto the "Blatant Dogfuker". Here we have a worker who is usually set up financially or has a don't give a fuk attitude. These are the easy prey for the "Birddogger" as well. When detected by a "Birddogger" they will simple stand or sit in the position they are in only to move once the "Birdogger" has already locked onto them and is within striking distance. These are the most common employees to be "Skidded or Turfed" from job sites as they have no skills to defend themselves once engaged by the "Birdogger". Answering the "What are you doing??" question with phrases like "Nothing." or "Talking to you." With their answers enraging the "Birdogger" they often get hauled into the office for written reprimands and dismissals. The "Blatant Dogfuker" is very popular on sites thou as all workers get pleasure out of their reactions and comments to the "Birdogger." Throwing them off for a second by their unexpected reactions to authority is always a pleasure to witness.
Now we have come to the "Master Dogfuker." This is the worker who has developed a skill set that makes him totally undetectable to the "Birddogger". Honing their spidy sense as a "Part time Dogfuker" and now being constructive and creative with their efforts they in the mind of the "Birddogger" do not exist. "Master Dogfukers" have been known to create elaborate lounges within their work area that are out of sight from the "Birddogger." Using tools like Red tape ( where nobody can enter) to guard entrances and emergency exits from their comfy lairs. They create a safe haven for themselves and "The worker" who needs to take a break from their duties. Thus creating a tollerence between "The Worker" and the "Master Dogfuker." The "Master Dogfuker" will very often mentor a "Unskilled Dogfuker" in order to help them create these safe houses and teach them the ways of "Dogfuking." Skills such as early detection and tools to escape "Birddoggers" during conversations. Here is where oddly enough the "Dogfuker" will expend more energy on creating their lair than it would take to be working. The "Master Dogfuker" has been "making puppies" for so long that the work part is not noticed. They will sees it simply as their duty to perform. The only way the "Master Dogfuker" is ever caught is when they are finding materials for their lair. Sometimes they are noticed stealing office chairs and large amounts of Styrofoam for insulation. The "Master Dogfuker" puts himself at risk only in such situations. While becoming sly and clever over the years they also have quick wit to answer any questions the "Birddogger" may ask them such as: "Why do you have a couch in the back of the truck?" A possible answser could be: " I was told to move it. They are giving it away to the salvation army and I have to take it to the shipping dock." Knowing the "Birddogger" is too hungry looking for prey to do a regular task like follow up an awnser, they are free to take the couch into their lair.
In closing, I have to compare each Dogfuker to a specific animal to end this one off as they are all displaying such different characteristics. First the "Unskilled Dogfuker" would be a jackrabbit. Appearing as easy prey they manage to escape the clutches of the "Birddogger" with their speed and nearby burrows. The "Part Time Dogfuker" gets the title of chameleon as they are quick to react and blend into their surroundings becoming invisible to predators. The "Blatant Dogfuker" is the prairie gopher. Easy pickings but kinda fun to have around as long as they are not working in your yard. The "Master Dogfuker" obtains the title of the mighty Canadian beaver. Unknown that they are even there, they work hard to create safe dens to live in and can only be caught when they go for more material.
I hope you enjoyed this one as I had fun writing it and am looking forward to posting many more in the not so far future. Thanks again.
Cheers!
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